haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize