Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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(407): View more from Florida

Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

cat food counts as protein by the way

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(423): View more from Tennessee

it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

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(517): View more from Michigan

hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.

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(519): View more from Ontario

No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?

(708): View more from Illinois

Most creative movie date proposition... ever.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Baby Shark came on during sex.

(812): View more from Indiana

She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?

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