When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
