I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
