how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
