I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize