whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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