is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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