And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
