called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
