I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
