I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize