I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
