so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize