Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
