There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
