My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
