can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
