are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
