I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
