I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
