I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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