Its about making memories worth repressing
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
