I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize