Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
