She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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