like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just forgot I was standing up.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
