my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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