is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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