If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
