so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
