So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
