her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
