look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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