two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
