i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
