i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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