i was born a porn star she said
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
