I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
