The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
