Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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