i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
