Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
