Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
