An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
