At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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