i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize