my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
