i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
