Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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