Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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