I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
