I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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