you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
