At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
