We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize