i may or may not be watching the land before time
only if we run a train.
done.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
