no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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