Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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