I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
