i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
