Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
this hospital has no fireball
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
