I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
this hospital has no fireball
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
