I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize