So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
