Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
