we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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