she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sext me about skeletons
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
