Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
