help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
