I think my vagina is haunted
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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