I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
