i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
