My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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