nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
where are you?
Hypothermia
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
