So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
