My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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